The Hard and The Easy

The other day I was asked a question: Was there anything I wish I would have known before I came to Gateway.

What is it really like to be a house parent? How do you tell the good and the bad, the difficult and the easy? 

Honestly I didn't really know how to answer. We've only been her 5 months, by the time we move on from house parenting I'm sure my answers may change.  

Here is an edited version of my email response to the question:

One of the things that held us back from moving to Gateway was our fears and concerns.   There is stress that comes with this job and  (mostly founded) fears, yes, but God promises us from the very beginning He’d be with us each step of the way.  The causes of concern (change for the kids, change in church family, the residents influence and impact on our children etc.) don't really diminish, but God gave us peace in knowing He was over all of it. 

There are fears for our kids, yes, that doesn’t go away, but there are so many blessings in watching our kids bring joy and relationships to residents. And watching the residents love and care for our kids. Listening to Gideon pray for them each night... there are definitely fears, but the blessing far outweighs that. Gideon and Aurelia are young but at some point, I'm sure, they will pick up on something we don't want them too. But, they will also learn love and compassion and faith in action at a younger age than they would have in comfort. 

 It’s hard. Parenting is hard. It would be hard if we were just back in our comfortable home in Goodfield. God wants to grow us. He could grow us as parents in our comfort or he could grow us here. Neither is easy. Growing is hard. 

No one told me how easy it would be and no one told me how hard it would be all at the same time. 

It’s hard to leave church, family, and friends, but it’s so easy to find love and support here.

It’s hard to deal with behaviors and be present for 7 residents and 2 kids. No one told me how easy it would be to have fun. To enjoy it.

It's hard to watch my kids struggle, to see them go through this move and transition, to see they need more attention. But, it's so easy to see them grow and adapt. I love watching them love the residents and be loved by the residents. It's so easy to see the joy they bring to the house. 

This right here

a resident playing with a little girl and little girl toys

building relationships

It’s hard to deal with their behaviors, to be needed ALL the time. It’s hard to be exhausted and tired. It’s hard to hear their stories and feel their pain. But it’s so easy to care, so easy to realize you love them.

I think, too, that while we are just in the early days, I’ve learned from a young age to view difficulties as part of the adventure. As part of the stories I’ll get to tell someday.

As difficult as it is as difficult as it will get, I hope some day I get to say “but look at the live changes and the souls saved, and the work God did in our lives, our kids lives, and our residents lives.” 

In Christ
~Michelle