Off Camera- A Long Awaited Update

It has been a long time since I have posted on this blog. There are a few reasons for that.

1. We have been really busy and struggling to balance work and family life. Blogging has not been a priority. Obviously. 

2.  I never know what to share. Too much and it gets too dark or borderline HIPAA. Too little and it's bland and life seems too good to be true. 

3. I've gotten so far behind, that catch up seems overwhelming. 

Here we are, despite that, attempting to start this up again. 

The other night, something clicked.  In all of the pictures I post on Instagram or all of the updates on my own personal blog- those are the day to day with my kids and family. They are the happy parts of life. 

I was sitting in the grass on a beautiful evening, watching the sunset. It was quiet and peaceful and I snapped this picture. 

What you can't see in the picture is WHY I was sitting in the grass that evening while Nathan puts the kids to bed.  What the days before had held. You can't see the resident in crisis off camera. You can't see the stress and exhaustion. You can't see all of the mix of emotions- frustration at the resident, compassion and love for the resident, guilt over my kids, peace knowing and feeling prayers, exhilarations from getting into the nitty-gritty of my job, and crushing emotional exhaustion from all of it. 

The amazing thing is when these moments happen and I send out flurries of texts for prayer,  somehow, even though it’s hard I feel at peace.

It’s been hard. So hard these past few days, weeks, months.   As I watch my kids grow and do enjoyable things and I snap picture after picture, nothing can really capture what’s off frame.

We've gone from 1 resident to three, from three to two back to one. For a while we had two again. In the past three weeks we've gained three more. 

Maple house has changed and grown. We've had to learn and relearn and relearn how to run the house. I'm pretty sure we will never actually get there. 

Here's a quick photo update of the past few months:

Elodie Rue was born 1/29

Maple House family picture

Easter

our 3 :)

She grew up and got cuter :)

Maple house trip to the zoo

Father's day

Summer volunteers did some painting in our apartment

playing game

family time :)

Maple House trip to Indiana Dunes

coffee roaster tour

some other house parent kids came over to play

residents love out kids. 

Our kids love the residents

fishing

I think over the past few months we've realized how intense this job is.  We have to be very intentional about our relationship as a couple and with our kids. We've made incredible relationships with residents and have gotten to share the gospel in so many ways.  Most of the time it's just planting seeds, but there are the wonderful moments you see the seeds take root. I love watching faith start to grow.  There has also been a lot of fun moments and laughter.  

We've had hard, hard times living with the residents’ trauma. One moment they shout in your face that they hate you and want to punch you, but when you offer a hug, they take it and sob in your arms. 

I often wonder what I'm doing here. But, God brought us here. There is no doubt.  And so, we press on. 

We are so very thankful for your support and prayers. We feel them.

In Christ

~Michelle